Maybe it's the situation that's the problem, not you.
People sometimes think they are hopelessly disorganized and are embarrassed and discouraged by their spaces. They are ashamed to open closets and sometimes don't invite people over because they dislike their spaces so much.
If you see yourself in this, read on for some encouragement.
I'd like to offer a different perspective. People can feel discouraged without perspective. Help and understanding are available along with plenty of antidotes for all of it.
So to start, there are 3 broad categories of disorganization:
Situational disorganization
Chronic disorganization
Hoarding disorder
This article discusses the first; the other two are discussed here.
So what kind of disorganization are you experiencing?
People - and situations - are unique
The first thing to remember is that people are all different.
We tend to assume that everyone is like us, and that's simply not true. As Dr. Phil taught us back in the 90s, we create our own experience. And we are the sum of those experiences.
No one else in the world has the same set of experiences you do, not even the people in your own household.
Setting aside the more existential elements of that, the idea is relevant here because people worry that they “should” be doing what everyone else is doing in terms of organizing. But organizing projects are also all unique.
No two organizing projects are the same. As much as we’d all love The One Answer to organize all the things, the way you organize those things will be as individual as you are.
Organization can be learned
Just like any other life skill – like housekeeping, or personal finance, or how to change a flat tire – organizing is something that can be taught and absorbed.
Therefore, just like any other life skill, if you were not taught how or don't have a natural penchant or desire to do it, you should not expect yourself to already know.
People seem to think they ought to just know how to organize things. But if you haven’t learned, why would you expect to know?
Further, we can also feel shame around the “messes” we have.
What does shame look like in organization?
Things shoved out of sight in drawers, or in the backs of closets, or into attics, garages, or sheds, until something or someone comes along who makes you face it.
Situational Disorganization
A lot of people I know are situationally disorganized – including me sometimes!
Situational disorganization is an event, series of events, or change in your life leading you to be disorganized in some area of your life for some period.
As an example, in my blog post here, I literally was experiencing situational disorganization. My office had accumulated a pile of stuff in the corner. It was cluttered and stressful. (If you'd like the follow-up, click here.)
This did not mean I had lost my organizational powers. It was just a pile of stuff.
How might this look for you?
The examples are endless. Co-parenting during divorce while working full-time. Household renovations. Death of a loved one. An illness or injury leaves you unable to do things the way you want to. The busyness of life leads to clutter in the garage/entryway/kitchen counter as things pile up from rushing from place to place.
Your overall wellness can suffer during these seasons. And it can happen over days. Or months. Or years.
But remember that it is only a season. It will pass. Things feel undone and it can be overwhelming right now.
But it will end.
Remember that it is the situation that is causing the problem, not your ability to organize.
Ask for help if you need to. Reach out to a friend, family member, or professional. It is okay to not be okay.
Ask for help
Friends, this is where many, many of you find yourselves.
You’re really not as bad off as you think you are. With some focus, skill, and time, all your organizational problems can be solved.
Sometimes calling in outside help speeds the process or solves problems you simply cannot solve. A large part of my job is working directly with clients as they direct the solutions of their organizational problems themselves.
You’re probably not as disorganized as you think you are, and there are no Organizing Police coming to tell you you’re wrong.
Whatever your situation, you can do this!
When you're ready to tackle your tough organization project, I am here to help you learn how.
Let's RETHINK organization together.
For more information, visit the RETHINK website today.
Mandy Thomas is a professional organizer fulfilling her lifelong passion for creating order out of chaos. She finds joy in helping people tackle their most overwhelming spaces and collections to create the optimal living space and enjoy their homes.
RETHINK organization is on a mission to help you develop long-term patterns of organization that you can maintain and feel good about long after our work together is done.
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